Sheds of the past…

Almost ten years ago,in February 2000, I passed my driving test. Within nine months I’d had my first accident, and the Mini was no more.

So I ended up with this:

Not a System Porsche Ibiza, this is the closest I could get on Google Images

A SEAT Ibiza.

A System Porshce, no less. For the princely sum of £70 I bought myself a chunk of the finest motoring 1980′s Spain had to offer.

Silver paintwork with ‘PORCSCHE’ slapped down the sides and on top of the engine, 1500cc, 62BHP, alloys, foglights, electric windows, all the toys. But my god it was a mess.

The bootlid latch was broken and so it came fitted with a rather sporty red and yellow striped bungie strap that stopped the hatch opening at will (although it did make an effective air-brake, at least eight years ahead of the Bugatti Veyron).
The washer jets didn’t work, despite me cleaning the whole lot and replacing the jets, the clock display only worked when the headlights were on and the entire top end of the passenger wing had rotted away, which flicked water onto the windscreen when it rained. No need for those washer jets after all.

So much brake dust had burned into the wheels they’d gone black.

Permanently. Of course modern Ibiza’s boast smart black alloys…

The car was nasty, floating around Devon’s B-roads on a cushion of blancmange is not an experience I wish to repeat, with the wiring from the cigarette lighter sparking together when I went round a left hand bend, electric windows permanently lowered six inches, the gap being made up by half a roll of insulation tape.

Everything about the SEAT was hateful, but it had a charm that only hopeless cars can offer, it was like a dopey old dog,  you knew it was a pain in the arse, but you couldn’t help but love the knackered old thing.

The funny rocker and slider switches it had as opposed to the stalk controls that every other car used, this was SEAT at its worst and clearly VW have changed the fortunes of the company in every way imaginable.

The Mini, for all it’s 1950s design flaws was the much better car, no question.

The Ibiza wasn’t with me for long, a £500 gold 1988 Mini Mayfair soon succeeded it. So what became of the Ibiza? I sold it, for £70, through freeads. Stupidly I didn’t do the paperwork properly, and three months later I had a visit from the police, regarding the Spaniard.

Believe it or not it had been used as the getaway vehicle in a raid on a building society in Cheltenham.

And guess who’s name was still on the logbook….

Thing is, I can’t recall seeing another one on the roads since I had mine. The car did live on in China, built by Nanjing Automotive (yup, the same NAC that bought MG) who (according to wikipedia) worked with a mobile phone company, called Ningbo Bird,(yes really, here’s the link if you doubt me) redeveloped and relaunched the aged SEAT as the Nanjing Yuejin Soyat where it continues to be popular. Despite several facelifts, it has proved that even the Chinese, with their rapidly growing Automotive industry, can’t polish a turd.

The funny thing is though, they seem to have totally vanished from our roads, I know ’80′s SEATs were probably not huge sellers, but you would expect some to survive. One day, when I have made my millions, I’ll add that 1988 SEAT Ibiza System Porsche to the Sloman Garage. One day…